Raising Ursula was a pleasure.  She always had high aspirations and usually succeeded in whatever she committed herself to.  When she began gaining weight as a teenager, my friends and family told me to push her away from the table; put her on a diet; she's a closet eater; she's going to have personality issues and the list goes on.  I instinctively knew that there was more to Ursula's weight gain than anyone, including me, realized.  Due to hormonal make-up and as Ursula had commented, emotional issues that stemmed from the weight gain, things started spiraling downhill.

 

It was a very tough and heart-breaking experience to watch your little girl begin to look unhealthy.  Yes, I was one of the moms that would always try and reassure her that I loved her for who she is and the weight didn't matter to me.  But it did....because she would have breathing problems and knee problems and also because she couldn't fit into that size 9 banquet dress that she so desperately wanted to fit into.  Although I never had much of a weight problem I lived being fat through my little girl's eyes.  I love her that much.

 

Although we dealt with the hormonal problems medically, nothing was going to change until Ursula made up her mind that she was ready for a life-changing event.  In her early twenties, Ursula finally had enough.  Although the Atkin's Diet isn't the healthiest, it was an extreme measure that Ursula took to take control of her life and her weight problems.  This inspired her to look beyond the meat-cheese eating diet to healthy fruits and vegetables that made her feel much better and lead to raw eating.

 

Can you tell I'm a proud mom?

 

Elizabeth Ring

Okay...as Carlene mentioned when I was in fire school we use to do a lot of strenuous activity...one of the worst was this thing we called a combat challenge. A brief overview so you can get the full effect: Fully geared up, pack and all (so like an extra 30lbs on your body), you're hot and weighted down...next, you pick up a 50lb pack of hose, throw it up on your shoulder and climb 3 flights of stairs...get to the top drop that pack of hose and hoist another 50lb pack with a pulley system...then you go down the stairs empty handed...must touch every step! Next you walk around the building...go to this sled thing that you take a rubber mallet and hit this steel block on the steel...now it takes the average MALE like 20 whacks to move it one inch...you have to move the whole thing about a foot and a half. So now you're out of breath and your hands and arms are numb, next you go raise a ladder (it's on a pulley system too), then you walk over to where a charged hose line is, pick it up and drag it...figure each gallon of water weighs 8lbs...you're probably dragging about 10 times that. Then you walk over to where a 150lb dummy is waiting for you. Grab him, and it ain't easy...drag him like 50ft across a line. The first time I did this I was much smaller than I am, by probably 60lbs, it was the toughest thing I'd ever done physically...and I've done some tough stuff. during the dummy pull I kept falling down, you're suppose to grab the dummy from the rear, under the arms, and drag backwards...well when I squatted down I was falling over on my butt, LOL. Well, by this time I was about 9min into the whole thing (takes the average guy about 5 min), by this time everyone in my fire school class was next to me. Yelling at me "LEt's Go, Let's go, Let's go!" "You're not quitting, let's GO!" They yelled at me until I crossed that line...then they stripped my gear off me and got me into the shade. Then one stayed with me and the others went to go yell at the next person doing the challenge. That's how it was...you don't let someone fall down. And if they do then you get down with them and pull them up!

Okay, shorter story and then the most important thing I want all of you to get out of this post...Last August I started the police academy. I'm the type of person that would irritate most. I'm very confident when it comes to most things. I truly believe I can do anything I put my mind to and want bad enough. I believe everyone has that in them. Most people choose to feel sorry for themselves or not better themselves. If you want to do something I fully believe there is a way if you choose to do it. Not everything is easy...just like Boot Camp You might have to do things the hard way, but if you give me a reason why you can't do whatever it is...I'll give you a solution, always. There's a way to do everything. I fully believe, no, know that if I wanted to be president, I could. Anyway, when I started the academy the only thing I was nervous about was the PT(physical training). The police academy is more para military than the fire service...hell our class leader was an ex-marine drill seargant! One of our PT instructors was also a marine. I hated the days that he came to class. Most days when the class was running in formation I could get away with running behind..not in formation. But on the days that Swainston was there...if I fell out of formation he would stop the class, make them get into a push-up position and wait until I showed up...then continue. He'd let them get around the loop once, and they would have to wait for me. Push up position in the heat on asphalt sucks and hurts! So the next time he showed up the group decided they were gonna do something different...they put me in the front of the formation. They weren't leaving me behind any longer. I use to joke and say I was the pace car. The understanding before the instructor got there was that no matter what he yelled at us everyone went at Ring's pace (that's me). So there I was front right corner(closer to the inside). One of our army classmates use to sing cadences which of course I didn't join in...I could barely breathe and run...every now and again he sing Ur-sul-a....where-ya-at? and I would raise my hand and everyone would cheer for me...the end of PT hour the instructor said, "well, I doubt half of you got any exercise...but you didn't leave anyone behind...I respect that." We did this just about every day. Whether we were running in formation or doing those horrid suicide runs (groups of two big long line...when you get to the end of the line you have to run to the front of the line), I guess they call them suicide runs because it makes you want to shoot yourself to get out of doing them, but we always stayed together. Then when it came to the academic portion we had some that had trouble...so we formed study groups that we required them to come to. Everyone in our class passed. We were the first class in 10years to not have anyone fail out of any portion. We had like a 95% hire rate too which is extremely high. When we were in pt and someone had to do push ups...everyone got down and did them too. We didn't leave anyone behind. Funny side note...that PT instructor is now a corporal of mine at the PD I work for...I don't know if he said anything about me to his uppers...but I was offered the job not but maybe a month after all this.

Now the important part. When I went to the academy I didn't feel I had the time to devote to RFBC like I should. Carlene was nice and told me to come as much as I could and when I was done I could pick up where I left off. I abused the niceness...I pretty much stopped showing up. I wasn't completely truthful on the last few weigh-ins. I broke raw and never came for help. I knew that there were people here who cared about me. It didn't matter that they had never met me in real life before. They cared. They knew my pain because they had been through it themselves. They knew what it was to get up in the middle of the night and binge eat in private. But I was too proud to come here and tell them. When I was big into RFBC before the academy I was a moderator...I was supposed to be the one helping, and not the one needing help. I felt that I was supposed to be above all this breaking raw nonsense. I completely left raw. I tried to do some other things I thought might make life easier. Macrobiotics...and a couple others. I couldn't bring myself to come back to raw...it hurt to think that I had failed Carlene. and worse...the other women at camp. Carlene, while I love her dearly, she's not gonna suffer because I break raw. But I had made some serious bond with these other women. We had supported each other through a lot of challenges and issues. I missed them dearly. I never said goodbye. I didn't want to because to say goodbye would mean having to admit that I had broken raw. I felt like Humpty Dumpty...I didn't feel I could be put together again.

I still received emails about RFBC from Carlene...sometimes I would read them...I wanted to know how everyone had been doing. I believe the email where Carlene talked about this 90 day program was fate. It was the universe's way of telling me that it was time to go home to raw.

Now...I'm telling this long story because I want everyone to know what I know. Support here is the most important tool we have. I didn't allow others to help me. For the first time EVER there were women willing to support me and I shunned their assistance. I wanted to baby myself and feel sorry for myself for being obese when so many women could eat the same foods and not gain weight. I had all this support and didn't use it. Ladies, don't make my mistake. If you start to feel the need to stray...come here. If you can't get hold of someone then peruse some raw sites until someone does show up. Read inspiration quotes that make you want to keep going. This is so worth it in the end. Use the help. You may think that these women whom you don't really know won't be able to help you. They CAN. We CAN. We don't leave anyone behind at Boot Camp We're in this together. You signed up for a place where women are going to help you succeed in your goals if you let them. So let us! Don't make the mistake I made. I lost 40lbs at RFBC the first time (maybe more...i can't remember) I gained it ALL back plus an EXTRA 30lbs. If you break raw..don't try to hide it. I did and it got me nowhere...well, it got me somewhere all right...back in the fattest jeans I ever owned that I kept to show how far I'd come...now they fit me. I use to could fit one and a half of me in there! PLEASE join me in the best health and thinnest bodies we've ever had. There's one way to do it...ask for help when you need it.